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It's a plane! It's a bird! No, it's...
Super Sloths are a subspecies of sloth
who posses super powers. They have only recently been discovered
because they look surprisingly similar to their non-super-powerful
ordinary cousins. But even though, at the first eye, they look fairly
similar, the two species are easily distinguishable, since Super Sloths
have some unique traits (like super powers), which ordinary sloths
obviously don't have.
Were the ordinary sloths move their bodies forward
by lying on the ground and pushing themselves forward with a maximum
speed of around 1.9 kilometres per hour, the Super Sloth moves ultra
fast by flying through the air at speeds far surpassing the speed of
sound.
A Super sloth moving at great velocity through a typical Dutch skyline.
Credit for the photo goes to Super Sloth Detector 2000-X
And where normal sloths have a habit of hanging upside down all day long, and are hardly ever performing any acticool actions, apart from eating and sleeping, the Super Sloths have a habit of saving the
world and fighting crime every day between 7 o'clock in the morning till 9 o'clock at night, and spending the remaining 10 hours shredding and rocking out on custom build Gibson Flying V Guitars.
A Super Sloth "rocking out" on a Gibson Flying V
The question whether Super Sloths are really a unique species which possess great powers, or whether they are just some individual ordinary sloths who have gained superpowers by some means (think about Spiderman or the Hulk) remains unknown.
All that is known, is that they love playing Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze and can be found on almost any place on the globe.
So if, on one of your camping trips, you happen to come across a flying, or guitar playing sloth, you can be almost completely sure that you are dealing with a Super Sloth.
In the case this occurs, we advice you to stay calm, alarm the local forest ranger, don't panic, and aplaude loudly when he finishes playing.